Avelut (Mourning)
1) When a person enters agony, it will be the family’s responsibility to recite the prayers prescribed before death.
Family members can ask for the assistance of a Rabbi.
The Rabbinical Office is available for consultation and assistance 24 hours a day, excluding Saturdays and public holidays.
If the death occurs on Shabbat or Moed, contact a trusted funeral agency through a non-Jew, also to speed up the burial times.
2) Once the death has occurred, the relatives who are with the deceased (parents, children, brothers, spouse) will have to make the Keria, which consists, in the event of the death of a parent, in the laceration of the clothes on the left side in correspondence with the heart, each pronouncing the formula “Baruch … Dayan Ha Emet” (Blessed …the Judge of Truth).
In the event of the death of another close relative, the laceration will be made on the right.
If a Rabbi is present, it will be his duty to help the family members provide for this sad ceremony.
Otherwise, it is possible to do the Kerià in the cemetery immediately after the burial.
The clothes with the Kerià must be kept until
end of the 7th day of Avelut (Shiv’à).
Kerià is not done on Saturday and Moed.
The death must be immediately notified to the Community (Tel. 06.6840061 – not on Shabbat and Moed).
3) The body must be covered, wrapped in a sheet and placed on the ground.
Candles will be lit (not on Shabbat) around the body and a lamp that will have to burn continuously until the 7th day of burial is completed in the room where the passing took place.
4) The mirrors will be covered in the room where the body is located.
5) From this moment begins the wake of the dead by the family members who – as tradition prescribes – will read the Psalms (in Hebrew or in any other language) until the moment of the funeral.
Relatives will be able to ask the Community for the books to hold the vigil themselves or ask for the presence of an authorized guardian.
It is evident that the value of prayers recited by family members is much greater than that of prayers said by another person.
6) For the entire period from death to burial, relatives are Onenìm and can only take care of what is necessary for the funeral, while they are exempt from observing the precepts (Tefillà, tefillin, Birkat ha Mazon, etc.) and not matter to Minian.
7) The body is subjected to Rechizà (ritual washing) and dressed in Tachrichin (white cloth garment that is supplied by the Community).
The Rechizà is usually performed in the Cemetery, in the special room by specialized personnel of the Community (Chevrà Kaddishà).
In particular cases it can be carried out elsewhere, subject to prior notification
consultation with the Rabbinical Office.
8) After the funeral begins the Avelut which lasts 7 days (the day of the burial is already considered the first day and the seventh day ends after the morning prayer).
Avelim (parents, children, siblings or spouse of the deceased) are not allowed to work during the seven days of Aveluth.
Upon returning from the cemetery they will have to consume the meal of Avelut which will be brought as a gift by another Jewish family, sitting on the ground or on low benches.
This meal consists of bread, boiled eggs, salt and coffee; some add olives and biscuits. The Avelim cannot sit at the table, but must eat seated on their stools for all seven days with the exception of Saturday, when they can regularly sit at table.
If the death occurred in the imminence of Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh ha Shanà and Kippur, the count of the days of Avelut changes: it is therefore necessary to contact the Rabbinical Office to find out the foreseen variations.
9) The Avelim do not wear Tefillin on the first day of mourning.
10) The Avelim cannot shave during the 30 days following the burial; for parents, the beard can be done starting from the 31st day and only on the urgent invitation of a partner; The 31-day period does not reduce even if there is a holiday.
11) On the seventh day, the thirtieth and twelve months after burial, the Avelim will go to the Cemetery to recite the ritual prayers on the tomb of the deceased relative.
It is good that there be a Minian in the Cemetery, so that it is possible to say the Kaddish.
12) The Kaddish is to be recited by the Avelim in the year of mourning, during the morning and evening prayers.
According to some, the recitation of the Kaddish stops in the first three weeks of the 12th month. The community can be asked to remember the name of the deceased for the entire duration of the year of mourning during daily prayers.
13) Jewish burial is on the ground.
It is strictly forbidden by Jewish law to affix photographs, sculptures and other images to tombstones.
14) During the year of mourning one must not attend or participate in social gatherings or entertainment.
In the event of family or friends parties, it is advisable to contact the Rabbinical Office to find out how to behave.
15) Those who follow the funeral and visit the graves in the Cemetery must have their heads covered.
On Saturdays, High Feasts, Midfeasts, Rosh Chodesh, Chanuccà and Purim, the Cemetery is closed to visitors.
The Community is available to families to provide any help and explanation, to comfort them and be close to them.
The Community has published a book “Jewish Rules of Mourning” which is given to bereaved families and which can also be requested from the Rabbinical Office.
Anniversaries
The first anniversary falls exactly 12 Jewish months from the day of burial.
The following ones fall on the day of death always according to the Jewish lunar calendar.
If the death occurred in the month of Adar in an embolismic year (with two Adar), the anniversary will fall, in an embolism year, in that of the two Adar in which the death occurred and in the normal year in the single Adar; if it occurred in a normal year it will always fall in Adar Sheni or in the only Adar.
It is customary to make a limud (study) on occasion
of the anniversary.